Mothers Day...

I remember the moment I truly, truly felt like a mom.,,,

I know most women say 'it was the moment I felt my baby kick or the second I held him/her in my arms.' but for me it was different.  I knew I had babies growing inside of me but the fact that I was having twins kept me in shock until....well I'm still in shock most days  but,  I knew it would be a hard pregnancy and anything could happen so i prepared myself for the worst.  I do that.  I don't know why but I always have.. so even when I could feel they boys rolling and kicking inside of me I didn't have 'I'm a mom now' feeling. 

After I had them, I instantly fell in love but having them taken to the NICU and unable to be near or hold them for a little while makes the bonding hard.  When we would go and see them in the NICU I had a hard time because I didn't know if I could touch them and if I could how do I touch them? They were so tiny and I didn't want to hurt them in any way.  I felt like I had to ask to do anything.  But thankfully that didn't last to long, The NICU staff was amazing! and I think it was the third day one of the nurses asked if we were going to change diapers and we had no idea if we were allowed to do that.  She looked at us and said " Well they're your children so you better get used to taking care of them now"  Right then we all relaxed a little bit and got more comfortable being in there and taking care of our children and holding them when it was appropriate timing.  (because they were so premature you can't just hold them whenever and how long or short you want... they get stressed real easy and their temperature isn't stable yet so there are certain times we could do so) 

Anyway...  When the boys were born and started to get fed through tubes, they would get horrible reflux and spit up this awful green stuff.  Which I'm told is normal, at first.  One of the first days in the hospital they both started throwing up and it was coming out of their noses and kleyton was crying and the nurses were taking care of other patients... I had a mini panic attack, thinking 'what do i do'?  But then,  it all clicked ......  I cleaned them up and moved them into better spots so I could clean under them and soothed them,  and at that moment, for the first time I TRULY felt like a mom. 

I know it's  strange that cleaning up throw up is what triggered that feeling but taking care of them and making them happy is all i could ever think about now.  That's what mom's and dad's do! 

I am so thankful that I get the opportunity to be a mother.  It's true what they say about never knowing this kind of love until you have it.,

I am also thankful for my mom and my mother-in-law and all my sisters and other mothers I know,  You all are true insparations to me and I love and respect you all!! 

Happy Mothers Day!

6 months

I can not believe my babies are half a year old!!!  The time seriously has flown by!  They turned 6 months on the 30th but we had their check up yesterday. 

KOLLIN :  height- 26 inches -45%
                  weight- 14 lbs 8 oz -10%
                  head- 42 1/2 cm - 20%

I can't believe that he's caught up to where he should be!  The doctor thinks he's gonna be a 6 footer!  Holy Cow:)  He is my good eater, seriously eats everything, even when he's asleep he'll still eat a bottle.  He is very active and loves to wiggle around.  He's been playing with his feet a lot lately and when wh change him he'll hold his feet up while we wipe and when we're ready to cover him up with his diaper he slams his feet to the ground and thinks he is so funny.  He has recently learned to babble a lot, oh and he's also learned how to squeal and scream (happily)!  He'll be laying on the floor for an hour and just squeal and sqwak and babble  I love it, except that it is so high pitched I'm just waiting for glass to break.  He rolls from his belly to his back occationally.  And he laughs so hard sometimes especially when someone is making a wierd noise or scaring him.

KLEYTON: height- 24 in -<5%
                    weight- 11 lbs 14oz - <5%
                    head- 40 1/2 cm - <3%

He is my little guy!  He loves to cuddle and be held.  He gets scared  and will cuddle into you and scream!!  Usually when he's in a room with a lot of people and loud noises though.  He is definetly not my social butterfly, he is a home body and I'm a-ok with that:)  He is a great sleeper though!  You can lay him down completely awake and he'll just talk himself to sleep and he'll sleep the whole night, and he takes long naps and when he wakes up he'll just sit there and talk and babble to himself until someone else wakes up.  He is very calm and lovey!!  He's started to understand that when you do something, it causes something else to happen..... like last night when Kole went to check on them before bed, Kleyton was still awake:  he was lifting up both his legs and slamming them down,  this old crib we have makes quite a bit of noise so when the crib would stop rattling he would do it again,... lift his legs up and slam them down:)  He also rolls a little,  they both are just not to interested in it.


They both love to stand!  They have strong little legs and love to have help standing.  I think they might be those kids who walk and skip crawling all together.  They also have recently been weined off of being swaddled for naps and bedtime (I have a post I will put up later about all that).  And the day they turned 6 months old we moved them into their bedroom.  Kollin still wakes up once or twice for a binkie but Kleyton has got the sleeping thing down.  It amazes me how different they actually are.  They are so fun to play with now,  they hold toys and make faces and giggle and laugh.  They love when their daddy comes home because he'll sit there and talk to them and cuddle them  and 'roughs them up'.  I love watching my three favorite boys spend time together.  Sorry no pictures with this post, I'm sure I'll have more with the next.